Have I Been Oppressed?

Oppression.  Such a big word that invokes so many feelings.  Have I been oppressed?  Yes, I think so.


Race

I feel I have a unique perspective when it comes to race.  I am of mixed race.  My father was born in Mexico and my mother was white.  I look more like my mother, so I look white.  I tend to identify with the Mexican side of my family because they were present when I was growing up.  When people ask, I tell them that I am Mexican. My maiden name is Suarez.

Since I look white and because I have a "white" name (Barbara-how white is that?), I have experienced white privilege.  I know that I won't be followed in a store, I know that people assume I have money to pay for my purchases and I know that if I apply for a loan, I'm likely to get it.  But, I've also watched as my friends or my family have been watched at the store, or been questioned about their financial abilities.

As a teenager, I remember having dinner with white families who talked derogatorily about other races not realizing that I was Mexican. Did I speak up?  No, not as a teenager, but I do today.
I've had people tell me that I'm not a "real" Mexican, or that I'm not like "those Mexicans". It almost seems as though they were forgiving me for being Mexican because I look white.  I've also had people tell me to use the term, "Hispanic" because the word "Mexican" is a dirty word.

How does racism affect a group of people?   http://vimeo.com/11939747

Gender

Before I was laid off and went back to school, I worked in a male dominated industry.  I felt that I had to work harder to prove myself and to move up in the industry.   Once in a sales position, I was chided by a female co-worker who said I would be more successful if I hugged the clients more. I had a boss who was amazed that I was able to make the drive to Houston and back in one day.  His exact words were, "I knew a man could do that, but I never thought a woman could."  When I was eventually promoted into his position, I had to fight for my salary, and in the end, it was still $10k less than his.
Last night, at dinner, my mother-in-law told me that she truly believes that men are smarter than women.  It almost made me weep.

Class


I grew up poor. I know what it's like to live a month without electricity because we couldn't pay the bill.  I noticed the way people looked at my mother when she would ride the bus to work because we didn't have a car.  I felt my face burn with shame when I was asked to move to the back of the church bus so that the girls with the pretty new dresses could sit up front.  "Let them have the clean seats since they're wearing new dresses."

What is it like to be poor?   http://whatever.scalzi.com/2005/09/03/being-poor/

Disability


I'm fortunate to be able bodied.  I do, however, have a child who has a learning disability.  He has a writing disability.  He is fourteen and his writing resembles a first graders.  He's a smart kid who excels is math and can do many math problems in his head.  This year we're struggling with his geometry teacher who feels that Sam shouldn't be in her pre AP class because although he can answer the problem correctly, having to actually write down each and every step can be excruciatingly slow for him.  In all other subjects he is accommodated with the use of a laptop,  but in math, work has to be written by hand.  I'm working with him to self advocate.  I feel that this teacher thinks less of him and judges his intelligence based on his handwriting. And I feel that he will struggle with that judgement for the rest of his life.  It's frustrating to watch your child struggle with feeling less than.  I don't ever want him to feel less than anyone.

Do I know what it feels like to be oppressed? Sure. Have I ever been the oppressor?  I'm certain that I have. Can we, as a society, change this?  Yes, I think we can.